Eyes on Final Fantasy Forums > General > Writer's Corner > Threads of destiny

[eiko guy]

So I had a english project to do and it was a short story. It involves people in my life and how I feel about them affects their characters. For example Vicky is the first person to accept me for being gay so she's the heroine and Gabriel is the first person to not accept me so he's the evil guy.

Plot
Normal kid named Tai is thrown onto a whole new planet by gabriel that planet's evil emperor. He meets Vicky and she saves his lie with her powerglove. He tells her his story and she hurry's him to cell seven( the resistence) and they stay together with the five other people. Blah blah blah they all get stronger in their magical abilities and defeat minor opponents building up to gabriel. The five major characters in cell seven outside of vicky and tai are on missions in gabriel's fortress while vicky and tai confront gabriel. They fight and he is strong and kills vicky which leads to an emotional scene where tai and vicky finally confess there love for each other. She dies and he goes into a rage unleashing the strongest element that no human has ever shown before a mix of his and her (prism flame) he destroys Gabriel and finds out that gabriel was being controlled by a magician controlling their galaxy. Tai searches for a way to revive vicky causing him to go slightly mad and abandon cell seven. He is constanly being attacked by assasins sent by the entity (still unnamed) and fights them off relatively easily. He finds a way to revive her and get's all the ingredients but is attacked by the entity and during the fight it destroys the ingredients allowing Tai to unlock the power oncemore but much more powerful. Vicky comes to him spiritually and tells him it's okay that she's dead and that she wants him to live happy rather than worry about her.


Shortened version that I use as a guide:

I was always a normal boy, stayed out of trouble even when weird things would happen around me. I lived in the lap of luxury but detested everything that my family stood for. My name is Tai Misarashi of the japanese misarashi clan. I wanted to be free from my family's chains and traditions.I was afraid of growing up to become like them so I decided to end it.
I was done with life and it's predictability so I stepped toward the cliff and peered over the edge. "Long way down" I gulped. I started to get second thoughts about this. That was until I felt a hand on my back and all I could hear was "WOOOOSH." I turned mid air to see a shadowy figure standing over the cliff with his hand out wearing a black glove. Why did he do this, what did I do to him? That question played over and over in my head. i was whipped around and all i saw was a bright light that opened up and swallowed me.
I awoke in a humid forest scared and confused. "Where the heck am I" I asked my self quietly? I stood up and walked around hoping to find a town or at least something I could sleep in. As I walked around I took in the amazing scents of this forest, the chirping of the birds, and the general feel of this area. I thought i heard a low growl somewhere from around me so I started to walk faster. I kept hearing it as though the sound was following me so I continued to hasten my pace. Before long I was sprinting through the forest I felt as though I was losing it before I tripped over a log. Oh crap! That's when i saw it. HE had three horns two tails and green fur it saw me and pounced faster than I could think. "Fireblast" I look back and see a young girl no older than I with a black glove shooting flames. She looked at me "Are you crazy this leger could have killed you." "Well excuse me. I just got dropped on this cooky world. Where am I anyway?" "What are you talking about where are you from" she looked at me with inquisitive eyes? "I am from earth. I should be dead by now before that guy in black screwed everything up." She looks at me with her eyes wide eyes so I decide to tell her my story. She tells me her name is Vicky Kha and that the man that did that to me is an evil emperor named Gabriel. "If what you told me is true then we need to run. NOW!" She yanks my hand and I follow her. "Why are we running" I ask her from behind? "Gabriel went for you himself he never goes himself unless it is a person that he absolutely must have. He has sent you here so he can retrieve you." Just then a huge explosion comes from where we are running from causing a huge outcry from all the animals as they stampede toward us.
We run for what seems like for forever with small explosions following us until we get to a city with borders to keep the animals out. As we enter Vicky slicks down her Raven and blood colored hair and straightens her clothes i follow suit. We walk around for a while without doing anything. Her eyes are scanning the crowds meticulously watching for a certain face.
So we Walk into an alley and she pulls her glove off "Can i have a look at that?" IVicky hands it to me as she puts on a different two. One is brownish and the other is a rainbow of colors.
She sees me eyeing her gloves "The one your wearing now is fire. The brown one is earth and this one is..." She trails off. "This is prism it was my mother's before Gabriel.." I can see the pain in her eyes "It's okay you don't have to finish." She wipes her eyes and puts her brown hand to the ground "Fissure." The ground opens up and their is a ladder leading to a sewer. "Do i have to" i say with puppydog eyes? She shoves my down and I grab a rung before breaking my neck "Thanks lady assasin!" We walk fo r a while before coming to a wall that is flat, "I s there some switch or something?" That's when I hear laughter and look around to see noone. "get your hands off that" I look to see that the wall had a huge face that just seemed to bulge out. I jump back out of surprise. Vicky steps up, "We are like the water to his fire, We are the earth to his wind, he cannot stop us we will unite and win." The wall opened its mouth and we stepped in.
"This is the resistence." We walk in and i meet the team. Jennifer who liked to just be call Jenn was an ex-acrobat she lost her circus which led to her losing her one great joy she trains her body to be abl to beat Gabriel with her electric glove.. Valerie who just answered to val was loud she was once a singer until gabriel took away frredom of expression and she could no longer perform she uses an air glove. Viri kept her name and to herself I dont know much about her except that she's lost everything to him and she uses a shadow glove. Taylor was a free spirit she was fun and never told anyone why she even joined them she uses water. Kerry is our scientist she gave our power gloves extra power bu i've never seen her fight.
So far two months I stayed. I trained, did small misssions, and learned to work my fine glove and secretly my air glove, There were only 5 others in the resistence 1 Jenn, Val, and Taylor. Jen was very acrobatic and relatively strong especially for her size. She used a thunder glove it was her favorite. Then there was Val, she was loud and strong, she used earth. Taylor was skinny, rather tallm and sometimes a little weird she use the water glove. Viri she was an enigma she was super intelligent and mader her own type of glove, shadowm she says it locks people inside of it's shadows. I was interested in that but left it alone. Last there was Kenny she was quiet and powerful. We barely talked but form the missions we did together she didn't want or need help.
I loved being apart of Cell Seven but all of it was over too soon. "BOOM" the entrance to our base was blown open and in stepp Gabriel. "You didn't think you could get away did you?" He walked over to me. "Time to go." His voice was deep and slow. Jenn jumped up first "Bolt!" she tossed it at him and threw a kick as well, but he just absorbed it and threw her to the side. Taylor uttered "Acid Rain!!" and int drenched him, but only lightly singed his coat. "Now now WHITE SLICE" he threw up to singers in a slash motion and she was split into two. "Okay it's time to end this" Viri calmly stepped up.
She opened her hand and her glove glowed black light. "Shadow Prison!" A raven 20 times normal size emerged from a shadow ad dragged him back into it. Then there was quiet. "I guess he's gone" she says nonchalantly. "Not at all" He appears in a beam of white light. "WHITE SLICE!" He chops Viri into two pieces. " You bastard how dare you " Kenny walks in. I've never seen her with a glove let alone go on a mission. She rolls up her sleeve to show a bright red glove that is glowing like mad. "PHOENIX FLAME" her body is lit on fire and her eyes glow like I have never seen. "What's happening?" I asked Vicky while I was terrified. "She's losing control. She's using full power." Vicky was looking mortified as Gabriel was truly hurt by her amazing display of power. She used it all but burnt for it. I stood up and looked around. Gabriel is breathing heavily. His maks was half worn away. "Such power! Pity that she had to die. Now for you." I stared into his and my anger swelled and built. I looked around and saw Kenny's ashes. I could feel her and hate for him, Taylor and Viri's body deceased they were son young, Jenn was dead from impact.
"No More!!" My gloves were pulsing the designs changing. "You will hurt no more of my first real family!" I could not stand the sight of him any longer. "I want you to die" I clappeed my hands as the words formed in my head. "Whirwind Inferno!!"

[eiko guy]

Waiting for your opinions people

[Dynast-Kid]

Ummm...Okay.

Maybe if you didn't try to cram it all into a bite-sized sci-fi epic, it would make sense. Because right now, it makes no sense. You should expand on it and use dialogue, settings etc. Make it into an actual story.

And if Tai is gay, how come he falls in love Vicky? Wouldn't that make him bisexual?

[f f freak]

That story didn't make much sense. It sounds intersting but is quite difficult to understand. I didn't like how the members of the resistance are all girls. It made it very plain. I got confused about who had which glove. There were lots of other things that were very confusing also.

[eiko guy]

Yeah when I wrote the bool I decided to scrap the resistence and make powergloves relics that only react to certain people. I added many of my friends names so there were few guys.