Eyes on Final Fantasy Forums > General > Writer's Corner > [S] Who Murdered Timothy? (A Murder Mystery Where You Know Right From The Start)

[Alive-Man]

Okay, here is the second draft of a poorly written story. Make Do.

Out of Titles; Make Do.
Subtitles are for people who are cooler than me.

Part One - Trouble With Mr. Watson

I

Harry Watson had everything planned! Everything! This could not go wrong! He was going to swoop in, kill Timothy, and swoop out! And by swoop he meant walk, and walking was something he was very talented at!
“Got me grade B in walking, me did. All them years ago. I still got it, even today. Shucks.” Harry said to himself, chuckling.
He was a strange, bearded man. Not that bearded men are strange, and I can vouch for a few, but Harry definitely was strange. So strange, that from now on, any descriptive words relative to Harry are going to be in italics.
Harry’s eyes, you could say they were weirdest of all! The man was stark staring mad, obviously, and this was probably down to the fact that he had been born ribs first. A “Sideways Birth” as they like to call it. Ninety five point two percent of babies born sideways end up mad as a hatter.
It had been a Wednesday night, probably, maybe, since Harry had seen Timothy’s ad in the newspaper. Definitely maybe. “Lonely Heart seeks axe murdering mad hatter, ASAP.”
And the rest, as they say, is history. Meaning that that information is held restrictively within the confines of the Government’s filing cabinet.
Harry wore brown; he always wore brown. Don’t ask me why, because this is a story and I can’t answer your questions.
Harry got in his car. Well, I say his car, it had once belonged to a little boy who had lived there previous to Harry. The family hadn’t moved; they just didn’t live there anymore. Harry, you see, has a way with people, much as he has a way with walking, you might say.
Walking would come in due time, because for now he peddled. He much would have preferred one of the supermarket trolley cars, with an elderly man pushing from behind, but Harry as of yet had not been able to swing this.
All things in due time.

Timothy was walking down the road, when suddenly a strange cloaked man swooped towards him!
“Holy toadstools! Don‘t you swoop me!” Exclaimed Timothy, risking a glare at his swooper.
“It’s not swooping. It’s walking, with style.”
“You’re really rather good, don’t you know...” Timothy beamed.
“You haven’t seen me skills with me axe, yet. Want to see me skills with me axe?” Harry said, glowing with pride.
“Um, yes, sure...” Timothy peered down at his watch.
Harry swooped his axe up, down, around. He plunged it into a tree, held it high above his head, and thoroughly did everything within his power to impress young master Timothy. It was to no surprise that when Timothy yawned, peered down at his watch again and said,
“I really ought to be going now, Mr. Watson...” Harry lost what little dignity he had left and soiled himself, while simultaneously charging with the axe towards Timothy.
With major internal and external injuries, Timothy was in a bad way. Mighty confuzzled, Harry proceeded to slap him to try and wake him up. His efforts, valiant as they may have been, were to no avail. Timothy died, then, and there, and at that spot.
“But it’s what you asked for...” Harry gurgled between strangled sobbings.


II

“Well,” said Chief Blaxer, peering up, and down, at the eager class of work experience students sitting and standing in front of him, “we can use geography to solve this crime because by looking at the ground, which is located on the earth, which is geography, we can see footprints. We can see from the footprints that the murderer swooped in, then swooped out! And by swoop we mean walk, and we can tell this man is a very talented walker! Therefore, I can tell you that the murderer must have had some sort of education in that area of expertise!!”
“So, you’re saying, chief, that all you would need to do is perform a routine search of the area for anyone who has received higher education in the art of walking?” A greasy lad named Gerry inquired.
“That’s exactly what I’m not trying to say. I’m saying, as long as we trudge on, with the wind in our ears and a song in our hearts, we can find this axe murdering maniac, and hopefully, make this world a better place.” Chief Blaxer said, as he nodded gravely.
“Amen to that.”

[themagicroundabout]

I thought that was rather good! On with the show, I say! On with the show!

[Alive-Man]

I'll write some more, tomorrow for sure, thank you, Curty-Amigo.

[Alive-Man]

Updated, with a new version of the old version.