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#1  Flight of the Bumble Bee - [p] Landing on the lilac and sucking up the pollen, the bee finds only the cotton of a floral dress resting on the body some young woman walking out of church on a hot sunday. Getting frustrated swash with a hand and the bee aggrivated flees the flower moments later a shriek and there lay the bumble bee down on the pavement of the parking lot. I believe I will be expounding on this... maybe? Last edited by Dignified Pauper; 08-13-2006 at 12:18 AM. |
08-12-2006, 11:51 PM
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| | Version 2: darting with grace the bumble bee - mid-flight dropped down onto the purple lilac dispersed throughout a floral garden of roses, daffodils, and lilac sucking as hard as it could pollen simply was absent only the thick taste of cotton persisted as it desperately clung a woman walking out of church during a sunny summer sunday saw the bee and with her right hand swatted it away frustrated the bee buzzed for a few moments before the sound of a woman's shriek could be heard in the crowded parking lot of the Crossroads First Church of God where there stood one garden of a woman and one dead bumble bee laying down on the hot black pavement - I'm not sure which version i prefer. I think the shorter needs to be even shorter, and the longer version actually should be longer. Maybe I'll try something with rhythm instead and match it to the actual song's rhythm... hmmm... decisions. |
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08-13-2006, 05:17 AM
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| | version 3: lilac of the floral dress with the thick taste of cotton frustrated swatting from a woman's grace then shrieking in the church parking lot and there on the pavement lay a bee twitching its last moments away - I think I'm going to file this one away for a couple of weeks and come back to it. |
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08-13-2006, 05:28 AM
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