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#1  [p] - more garbage Another entry. Disregard this linear spacing. The actual version has many indentations and what-not. MAY 20th 4:49 AM Rain, overcast, the past week storms pushed through I'm reminded of a farmhouse a town a city familiarity on an old porch swing my grandfather hums My good frend Jordan cries through every storm I smile tell her "everything will be okay" tell her "everything is okay" Tonight, the sky is clear rain move on towards Philly Jersey and D.C. and onwards over the vast blue deep carrying a girls memories pouring them onto the ground buried pouring them into the sea drowned *** I say I have much work to accomplish the truth is I have much work to accomplish I read a tremendous deal much of which I despise admittingly skimming through I simply lack discipline in the skill and art I work at a desk manu nights for many hours handing out spare keys and vacuums ping-pong paddles, and other random items to supply a college student with activity You said "I don't need alcohol to have fun" said that "I have fun without drinking" I do need alcohol I like to drink for fun Alcoholism is an excuse for bad behavior *** Professors are smug high class and pretentious, armed with knowledge Captain, my Captain my D was well deserved believe me, I will write something better. English and cannons, unjust cannons picked by living white men picking exclusive dead white men Chaucer Milton Donne Dickens my lover, where were you on the list? contemporary is not classic classic is not cannon believe me, I will write something better. Last edited by Dignified Pauper; 05-21-2006 at 09:21 AM. |
05-20-2006, 11:32 AM
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 | Based on personal experience, eh?  Is this all one poem or a set of poems?I like the third one the best - man, English professors are pretentious pricks. I totally sympathize with that. It sums up frustration and anger towards an archaic system really well. Yeah, that one rocks. The second one seems more like a terse diary crammed into verse than a poem, though. I dunno what else to say, other than the second one isn't that great. 'accomplish' is a weird word and ending two lines in a row is like an immediate turn off. The first one is pretty cool - I like the idea of the storm carrying someone away. You know, you can display indentations and stuff by using &nb |
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05-21-2006, 11:57 AM
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Like I know how that works. Actually, all of these are a set of experimental things that I am going to put into one large poem because they all are in a sense the same. The over-all collection of things anyways, individually they stand as well. The only reason I like the second one is because of the first two lines and the last stanza. It's part of my social satire. |
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05-21-2006, 06:38 PM
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