Eyes on Final Fantasy Forums > General > Writer's Corner > [P]Untitled

[nik0tine]

A light wind softly blows
above the fire in poetic prose
across the earth whose grass still grows
despite the fire and its lack of water.

[-N-]

The first three lines flow so exquisitely - they're perfect. I feel the last line is out of place, although I'm not sure how. It might be just the words "despite" and "water" that seem a little jarring to me. Especially when you've got the first three lines ending similarly; the last line doesn't seem to resolve the poem. Maybe that's just me. I totally dig the imagery and everything, though - those three lines are perfect.