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#1  Sad day, for a Sad man , wif a sad reason... In the depth of my memory... I never remember saw you smiling... How i wish to be ur canary... To chip a song while u r crying... Days and months pass so swiftly, I dunno what had went into me... But in my mind i noe it clearly... that i had fallen in love wif u slowly.. They say love had its formula. that is sweet, sour and bitter, Bitter and sour I always had. but never sweetness come to me. I love you so much that even u never know more than any love story ever told but i regret i thing i never know... Love is sumthing that u need to show... Now i cant do anything, for you had start hate me, losing you is wat i cant think, so i wan you to noe... its u who i wanna see... Now seems i made my choice... to carry on as my life goes on... However the memories from the past.. Shall be always in my heart... Tis poem shall be my promise... to the girl which I dearly miss... to show her i never forget.... the moment we had.... -------------------------good bye----------------------------------- loved show by Donavan |
04-27-2006, 04:24 AM
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 | I mean it would be good, if it weren't so incomprehensible. Please clean this up, grammar wise and in other such ways. I can barely understand what the heck you're trying to say. Apparently you "loved" someone and then lost them for some reason. And it was a bad relationship. But please use english next time. I liked this one line a whole lot though: They say love had its formula. That's a very good line, very powerful, and in English. |
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04-29-2006, 04:53 AM
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 | it is good dispite a few grammer mistakes i liked it........the thing is that u r using chats codes as shourtcuts.... my advice is that u can use this shortcuts when u talk to people but when u post a thread with poem use the full words.... this will make it more understandable.....good luck |
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05-11-2006, 09:25 PM
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