love lost

childroland · 03-27-2006, 10:43 PM

When I look in your eyes
my stomache aches
as my soul begins to rise
my heart begins to quake

I long for you so much
but I know it is never going to be
I will never feel your touch
you are all in the world I can see

When I see your face
night passes into mourning light
to you I always race
from me you take away fright

My heart felt as if it stopped
when I got the sad news
I heard to a new town you hopped
I am now filled with the blues

Your eternal light is diminished
your touch forever lost
my heart will never be finished
my soul colder than frost

You left me without even goodbye
crushing me in both body and mind
I will love you til I die
my soul now opposes all that is kind.

Xaven · 03-28-2006, 05:20 AM

From my novice standpoint, I don't like stanzas 3 and 4, but it is generally pretty good. Keep with it. ^_^

tidusguy#1 · 03-28-2006, 08:32 PM

i really liked that. it was pretty sad, but i liked it. good job!!

childroland · 03-28-2006, 10:24 PM

thanks for the compliments.

tidusguy#1 · 03-30-2006, 09:25 PM

youre welcome!! it remind me of what i actually go though sometimes, when someone special leaves

childroland · 03-30-2006, 09:57 PM

I really think this is one of my better ones.

tidusguy#1 · 03-31-2006, 03:42 PM

yeah, i really like it!!

childroland · 04-03-2006, 05:32 AM

cool glad so many like it

Xaven Missing. Location: Alt + F4	#2 (permalink) From my novice standpoint, I don't like stanzas 3 and 4, but it is generally pretty good. Keep with it. ^_^
03-28-2006, 05:20 AM

tidusguy#1 Location: aiming a gun at your head	#3 (permalink) i really liked that. it was pretty sad, but i liked it. good job!!
03-28-2006, 08:32 PM

childroland Location: Ohio	#4 (permalink) thanks for the compliments.
03-28-2006, 10:24 PM

tidusguy#1 Location: aiming a gun at your head	#5 (permalink) youre welcome!! it remind me of what i actually go though sometimes, when someone special leaves
03-30-2006, 09:25 PM

childroland Location: Ohio	#6 (permalink) I really think this is one of my better ones.
03-30-2006, 09:57 PM

tidusguy#1 Location: aiming a gun at your head	#7 (permalink) yeah, i really like it!!
03-31-2006, 03:42 PM

childroland Location: Ohio	#8 (permalink) cool glad so many like it
04-03-2006, 05:32 AM