Eyes on Final Fantasy Forums > General > Writer's Corner > my poem...what do you all think?

[xtreme112]

I had to write this poem for literature class, normally i don't write poetry much so i'm not very good at it.
I wanted to post this one on to see what people thought of it, if i did it ok, and if it actually made sense....
I'm not even sure if the title suits the poem, any comments on the topic?
(its a sonnet btw)

Oblivion to Reality

With endless moving time changes are born.
They say we move forward, but in our haste
We ignore to look back on our true form.
They make a new world, laying past to waste.
Before a screen awaits a painless place,
Where power comes not from genetic looks.
Travel the land, discover every space
You know the whole world, and seconds it took.
Your friends, your peers and everyone beyond
Live as nothing more than words and letters.
But we gave up feelings of which were fond,
Killing the senses nature made better.
And in gazing upon this world of lie,
We turn our back, and let our planet die.

[blackline77]

its really good.

[Rikku_Yuffie_girl]

i like it i can not write a peom if my life depended on it

[Sing the Sorrow]

im a poem writer myself and thats pretty good. It has good structure and avoids all the complicated sonnets.

[tidusguy#1]

i loved it. HAM (have a muffin)

[Dignified Pauper]

Keep writing, you'll get tons better. This is good, and I get the feeling you've only been writing for a year or so. I think you have great potential.