[P] another poem. PLEASE COMMENT!!!

nik0tine · 07-23-2004, 11:58 AM

hey all, this is anotehr poem i wrote a while back. it must be over a year old now. man, time flies doesn't it? anyways, im not sure if i have posted this one before or not. if i have, then maybe more people iwll comment on it this time...

Ominous prosperity, glowing a bright yellow,
As a flame atop a candle,
Societies of wax,
Melting away,
Demise dripping from its less-than-monolithic sides
The sweltering heat of corruption,
Melting away it's past glories
Fading bit by bit
The blaze of the vice
Dissipating former grandeur
The good is departing,
And all that was once great,
Will soon be burnt out.

Polaris · 07-23-2004, 12:03 PM

It's great! ^_^!

FallenSilence · 07-23-2004, 12:13 PM

Polyonymous · 07-25-2004, 07:13 PM

i liked it, it definitly has felling behind it. its not just some words thrown together into what some ppl call a poem. you did good.

Polaris SHINE-LAKE OF FIRE Location: Sunny Portugal	#2 (permalink) It's great! ^_^!
07-23-2004, 12:03 PM

FallenSilence I Love You, Hannah Location: I'm wherever you are.	#3 (permalink)
07-23-2004, 12:13 PM

Polyonymous Silly Goose	#4 (permalink) i liked it, it definitly has felling behind it. its not just some words thrown together into what some ppl call a poem. you did good.
07-25-2004, 07:13 PM