Eyes on Final Fantasy Forums > General > Writer's Corner > [S] Normans Odyssey. PLEASE COMMENT!!!!!!

[nik0tine]

ok, this is a story that i had to write last year for my ninth grade english class. please comment.


Normans Odyssey

Tell me, O Muse, the tale of how one man, who’s soul had been torn apart by war, traveled the world in search of the secrets of life. Many years did he spend, though not in vain, in attempt to free his friend from the confines of the swirling Nether.
So now after many years of war, a somber peace remained in the midst of a world ravaged by conflict. Not a single town, village, or hamlet escaped the horrors of the Great War. Nor was a single grassy knoll left without bloodshed. No snowy mountain caps, golden meadows, mountainous hills, not even a field or forest escaped the cruel fires of warfare. The war had spread throughout the known world, and countless were slain. Some attempted to rebuild their lives step by step, others sank into a dismal state of mind and could never recover. One man, Norman of Rhodes, could not bear his sin. During the war his comrade in arms and lifelong friend Alexander was slain by the hand of the mighty general Josef. Driven by rage, Norman rallied the battered troops of Rhodes and decimated the ranks of the foes besieging them. He killed Josef, casts his body in irons, and tossed him into the sea. When the last of the armies of the western Axis had been defeated by the armies of the eastern Axis, and the war had ended, the hero of Rhodes, Norman, returned home. But he still felt that the death of his friend was his own

fault, and he set out to find a way to bring his friend back to life. He scoured the libraries of Rhodes and the neighboring countries but not a single book contained the knowledge of life. So he begged the king to grant him a ship and crew, and rations as well, so that he might search the world in hopes of finding a way to revive his friend. The king, being grateful that Norman had saved his country during time of war, ordered the people of his nation to build seven mammoth ships, the seventh being the grandest of them all. The people built these ships, and the end product was nothing less than magnificent. Six ships handcrafted, each three hundred meters in length. Each had their own design made from bronze and outlined with gold. The ships had gigantic masts, and a beautifully ornate crows nest. The interiors had a room for each crewmember, all with fine hand crafted beds and silver sheets and blankets of gold. The seventh, and most massive, grandiose ship off all was created for Norman, and the finest of all of the crewmembers. It was utterly massive, nine hundred meters in length, easily dwarfing the other huge ships that would sail around it. It was fully enclosed in seven layers of gold, and it was decorated with many lavish designs and many rare gems. The finest artisans in all of Rhodes were called upon to build this great ship. The seventh ship had the largest mast of them all, and the crows nest was the most spacious. The interior was the most magnificent of all. It had three layers to it; two above water, and the third was engulfed by the sea. The walls were all lined with gold and silver and bronze, and in some areas the floor was carpeted by soft fur, and dyed an extraordinary color. It had a lavish dining room made of dark wood, located on the second layer. It had a beautiful crimson rug, and the walls were decorated with numerous crimson banners to uplift its beauty.

On the first layer, was a large sporting arena, with a small racetrack, and an arena for wrestling or boxing. On one end of the room there were archery targets, and on the other there was a small spot designated for the skillful art of fencing.
On the third layer of the ship were the lavishly decorated living quarters. Each room was ordained in gold or silver, and each had a large hand made bed and sheets of silver or gold. Each room also had a large porthole so that the inhabitants could view the wonders of the sea. In the front of the third layer, was the largest of these rooms, and the most elaborate. It was designated for Norman himself, and had stunning wood stained with rare dyes, and draped in luxury. It had a large mirror outlined with gold and decorated with large pearls. It had the largest and most comfortable of all of the beds, with sheets of silk, and blankets dyed with rare purples and complex designs made from the darkest black dyes in the world.
This was the majestic fleet of Rhodes, which rivaled even the stars in its abundant radiance.
When these ships were completed the best men in all of Rhodes and its neighboring countries were selected, and the best of these were selected for the seventh ship. There were five hundred strong men per ship, and one thousand men for the seventh. The most beautiful maids were also selected, one hundred per ship, and two hundred and fifty for the seventh.

For seven days after the completion of the fleet the nation of Rhodes feasted, each day representing each of the ships, and on the seventh and final day, the best foods were cooked, and best entertainers in the nation were called upon to entertain Norman and his
fleet. At dawn the fleet set sail upon the vast waters of the ocean. Cloaked in glory, it seemed as if the sun itself was sailing the ocean waters.
For three months Norman sailed, and on the fourth he came across an island.
Norman and his fleet docked their ships on the shore, and he selected the finest twenty men among them. The rest stayed to defend the ships.
Norman and his men began to walk until they came across a small village. Not a single inhabitant was left, obviously due to the war. All of the buildings had been demolished, except for one. A huge structure stood amongst the rubble that was once a city. As they got closer it became apparent that the invaders had attempted to enter the building, but they could not break the locks to the mammoth doors. For hours Norman and his men attempted in vain to open the doors, but despite their efforts, the entrance would not show even the slightest sign of wear even when put under massive force. After many hours of trying, Norman gave up hope. Awestruck at the marvelous engineering of the building, he gave the doors a touch so faint and gentle it would have been nearly impossible to feel. At that moment the doors to the building swung open with greater force than a legion of a thousand strong men could have ever hoped to have exerted.
In great awe they stood before a great and ancient library, with a full eight levels, each filled with thousands of ancient scrolls and books. On the ceiling of this massive structure was a gargantuan flame connected to a red-hot chain, lightly swinging back and

forth, burning in an ominous and fierce, yet calm and tranquil blaze. It illuminated the building in a menacing orange light.
For two whole weeks did they stay within the confines of that great library, gathering an abundance of wisdom. It was revealed in one of the scrolls, that the inhabitants of the island believed that the wise man would master the art of ease and serenity, rather than the malicious art of force and hostilities. It stated that the library had been erected to symbolize this, as the door could not be opened by force, but only by ease, and that inside were books of all sorts, and wisdom was abundant among its interior.
In the library they found a text that had been torn apart. The text explained where to find the secrets of life. In it, it said to sail to the point where the west meets the east, and where the north meets the south. So Norman and his men again set off to sea. For eight long years they sailed in an attempt to navigate to this spot, and when the stars had repositioned themselves in the sky for the ninth time, they found land. It was a barren desert, a place where no life could possibly survive. But Norman was not without hope, he and his men brought with them sufficient food and water while they searched the land for any trace of life. For nine months they searched and searched, and when supplies began to run dry they came across a lush paradise of foliage. Far off in the distance they could see a huge structure. So Norman and his men set off to reach it. For hours they walked until they finally reached massive walls, hundreds of feet thick, and stretching for miles on all sides. A massive iron-wrought gate blocked the entrance to the city. Norman


humbly asked for an audience with their leader. They accepted and the king of the city talked privately with Norman, who told the king of his journey. The king led
him to the colossal structure in the center of the city. It was a massive, hollow step pyramid made from clay and each step was lined with bronze. Each step also had a large
irrigation canal that cascaded down into the next step, and then finally down into the bottom, and in each canal were numerous small trees, adding to the buildings exterior splendor. The inside was stunning, a lush paradise of vegetation. The base was a dazzling garden of fruits and flowers and shrubbery. But the true wonder of this monument came not from the magnificent garden at the bottom, but the magnificent garden at the top. From all four sides of every single step there were vines and plants and flowers hanging from the top. Some of the features were so high up one could barely even make them out, while others majestically hung at head level. It was here that the king of this wondrous city gave him the second part of the book, which explained how to sail to the end of the world. Following the instruction given by the text, Norman and his men went to work by modifying their fleet, alongside with help from the people of the region they were in. two long months they worked, and at dawn of the third month their task was completed, and to their astonishment, their ships no longer sailed the limited seas, but now navigated the vast and infinite skies. Throughout the skies the sailed, flashing brilliantly like the sun, whose light brings life to all mankind. During the night it rests peacefully, darkening the land, and at dawn it lifts it’s mighty head once again, prepared to once more shed its luminous aura over the land, signaling the end of another long night, and the birth of a

brand new day, even so did Norman and his fleet flash through the skies, high above the earth. And now, after three years of sailing the sky, they finally came to their resting
place: the end of the world. It was a place like no other, a place without time, and where its vast
space continued on infinitely in all directions. It baffled Norman and his men as to how they ended up there, just as it would baffle all who came across it. It was not of the world
they were from, and yet it so strongly epitomized it. It was in location that man could not comprehend, so far, yet so close to the earth. In a sense it was the supreme aspect of the earth, one of the two extremes that comprised it.
The magnificent beauty of this place was beyond words; it was so simple, yet so stunningly complex. From as far as the eye could see there were simple yet beautiful objects, dancing through the ceaseless soft breeze. Things such as pure white feathers, or pink flower pedals pranced about in a perpetual ritual while being carried through the endless land of pure nothingness. Here they found an old sage, with all of the knowledge of the world in his hands. He told Norman that he must go to the cruel nether, the opposite extreme that comprised the earth, in order to free his beloved friend from the confines of death. In an instant everything faded, and the hero Norman was now in the netherworld, the land of the dead. Whereas the land he had just visited was the positive extreme, where he was now was the negative. Here he saw countless horrors. He saw victims of war and violence and of greed, those who had fallen prey to the injustice brought on by mankind, the blind, deaf, lame, those who had been maimed, burned, and beaten, and those who had suffered so much at the greedy man’s gain. Proof that the swords of injustice do ever so unjustly smite the innocent. Swamps and rivers were filled with the
endless decay of the dead. Men women and children from countless worlds spent the rest of time lamenting hopelessly in their sorrows. .
Here Norman wandered in disgust of the atrocities caused by his own race. He wandered and wandered endlessly until he found Alexander, his long dead friend. He was indescribably pale, and after all of these years his wound was still bleeding.
The sage from the other extreme then used the infinite magic in which he had to bring Alexander back to life, and both of them back to the tranquil place where the world ends. But Norman was never the same again, he and Alexander boarded the golden fleet along with his many men, and never again did they return to earth, but forever they sailed throughout the endless skies, high atop all the sorrows brought on by mankind.

[Armisael]

Nik0tine, your story is amazing.The way you wrote it is impressive. The whole story and especially the first lines (o, Muse) reminds me somehow the Homeric epic ''Odyssey''.
What really fascinated me ,were the descriptions (for example of the ships, the buildings, the views) and I loved the end.I guess your grade was A ,right?

[FallenSilence]

That's really, really good, very creative. I would give an A*