This is a tale I made for my AP English 11 class, tell me what you think please...
(SPOILER)
A silent night, too dark and long for hell,
If it would ever end, I could not tell
And as I finally drift off to sleep,
I dreamt only darkness, so very deep
It was in this dream that I heard her say,
“No, I will never let it end this way,
Im sorry for all the things I’ve done.”
Then she faded, and her death had begun.
I stir very violently as I wake,
After this dream, which I hope to be fake.
And the voice was familiar to me,
For it was the voice of my bride-to-be.
And even though it gave me quite a scare,
I dismissed it, as only a nightmare.
So I calm myself and fall back to sleep.
It is morning, so out of bed I leap.
I realize I am late, so I make haste,
Today is important, no time to waste,
For I am meeting my fiance soon,
And we will eat lunch together at noon.
I speed out my door, and jump in my car,
But I was still late, for it was too far,
And she is sitting there glaring at me.
She never tried to scold me, thankfully,
And after we sit down for a meal,
She asked to exchange vows, and how we feel.
I told her my feelings, and she did too,
And then I knew this marriage would hold true.
I would give my life for her, any time,
For I valued her life greater than mine.
As we left, and made our way to the road,
I saw now that my haste got my car towed.
So we drove together to hang around,
And as I was driving, I heard a sound,
And soon after, my eyes started to burn
From headlights of a truck with a late turn.
So then we were hit, and started to flip,
And I tried to grab her, to find a grip.
She slipped through my fingers, and flew out,
I had killed her, I knew without a doubt.
The dream must have been a warning from God,
All I had said was only a façade.
She deserved someone who could protect her,
Someone who could expect this to occur.
The car stopped rolling, but I could not move.
I had fainted, and had to be removed.
I woke days later, with death in my heart,
And what I saw gave me quite a large start.
It was my fiance, she was still alive,
She was not killed by my horrible drive!
But I knew I had to protect her life,
Even if she was someone else’s wife.
She deserved someone much better than me,
We could not marry, I hope she could see.
And so, after we had both recovered,
I told her to go, and find another.
She was angry and sad, I hope she sees,
That her life will be better without me.
I distanced myself, I never saw her,
For it was this way that she should prefer.
Soon I had seen how my thinking was rash,
But it was too late, gone like a flash.
I could not see her now, it was too late,
And in my heart, there was only pure hate.
I had given up my only true love,
There was no message from the gods above.
I had to see her, if only once more,
And so, as I make my way to her door,
When I looked up, I was caught in a daze,
As I looked up, I saw her house ablaze.
I rush into the house to save her life,
To save the woman who should be my wife.
So I rush upstairs to find her in bed,
The house is collapsing, and she is dead.
A fire she started to end her life,
Downhill, since I refused her as my wife.
It was in this blaze I heard myself say,
“No, I will never let it end this way,
Im sorry for all the thing that I’ve done”
Then, all was fading, our death had begun.
Spoilered for convenience
It is in Iambic Pentameter(I think), and in couplets.
It's really impressive that you wrote such a long piece in that kind of style. Just a quick grammatical note, it's practically perfect apart from one of the last lines which says "Im sorry for all the thing that I’ve done”" - you forgot the apostrophe in I'm and the s on the end of things. But good job, glad you got a decent grade for it.
11-09-2009, 02:34 PM
