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#1  [S] Interactive: Captain Maxx Power And The Fate Of Atlantis OK so, here's how this is going to work; Each day for the next month or so I will post up a new "chapter" in this on-going story. If anyone takes an interest and posts in this forum, they can directly influence the direction of the story by offering up one item or phrase and putting it in bold at the bottom of their feedback post. Something like this; Celery I will then do my best to incorporate it 100% seamlessly into the story. Really this is a personal exercise in both writing and comedy. Don't take this very seriously. Also I may or may not offend some people. It will also be filled with blatant lies and exaggerations. Without further ado, enjoy; ======================================== ========== The dark storm lashed down torrents of rain that jumped several feed into the air, creating a carpet of perpetual movement. Under the dim glow of the street lights Terrence could only see the outline of his paws. His small monkey body was protected from the rain by a brown trench-coat, with a tweed trilby covering his extended cranium. Being a nuclear super-ape, Terrence's eyes glowed a milky green behind his 99p sunglasses. Sitting on the edge of the wooden crate in the docks, he idly chewed on the edge of his banana and waited patiently. It wasn't long before a figure lumbered towards him from the darkness. With a notable lurch to their step, Terrence knew that this was his mark. His isotopic heart pumped at 300 beats per seconds; about average for a radioactive monkey. Still he knew his nervousness was going to be an issue. He was wearing his government issue diaper, but the smell could still waft should he soil himself. Feeling a small push from his backside, he gritted his teeth and concentrated instead of the figure that now stood directly in front of him. Their face was covered by a hood that hid their features, making it impossible to see if it was a man or a woman, though a small white object was still prominent. "Do you have the files?" the figure asked in a lilting accent, the ridiculousness of the pronunciation almost making Terrence burst out laughing. Digging his nails into the palm of his hands to stop from doing so, he reached into his coat and pulled out the USB pen. The figure took it and look at it curiously, holding it in an outstretched hand "I thought it would be on paper?" "Buddy, this is the 21st century, we don't do paper no more" Terrence replied in his thick New York accent. He took a solid bite out of the banana in his hand, pointing the now blunted end at his target whilst chewing. "You got da money?" he asked, spraying a mouthful of banana onto the coat of the figure across from him. They looked down at their coat where the flecks of banana flesh had stuck firmly, before wiping it off firmly with one of their hands. "It's right over here" the figure replied with a notable tone of annoyance, gesturing with his other arm towards the end of the pier. Terrence jumped off the crate, finishing off the banana in his hand and tossing the peel to one side. He adjusted his hat and lumbered forward, alternating between using his hands and feet to walk forwards. He made a point of keeping a fair distance from his mark, observing the curious limp as they walked. They soon came to the end to the lashing sea that tossed violently in the wind and rain. "So where abouts is this..." Terrence began, before leaping backwards as a massive spray of water launched out of the water. Frantically wiping his eyes to see, he watched in horror as the monster rose above. It was a serpent of some kind, except it had a dark mustache and a monocle affixed to one of it's eyes. "Is this the fellow?" the serpent whispered to the behooded figure out of the corner of it's mouth. The figure nodded in reply, with the serpent grinning in response. "Ah jolly good. Terrence, isn't it?" "Er, yeah, that's me" Terrence replied tentatively, already smelling the result of the shock. He really had to get that colon of his fixed when he got back to base. "So, you're Colonel Sanders, right?" "Colonel Saunders, my boy. I don't do chicken, though I do enjoy eating it" the Colonel replied, showing it's sharpened teeth, making Terrence slightly nervous as it did so. "Now then old bean, I understand we have an issue with a couple of quid I owe you". The Colonel's head disappeared under the water for a few moments, before violently rising back up, a small wooden chest gripped between it's jaws. It spat the object out onto the pier, causing the wood to splinter apart and the chest to sink into the sea. "O bugger, let me try that again" The Colonel said hastily, diving back under, coming back up with the chest and this time placing it gently onto what was left of the pier. Terrence hobbled slowly towards it, lifting the lid and peering at what was inside. A midget stared up at him for a few moments, before it pulled out a wooden club and brought it down onto Terrence's head, causing the world around him to go black. ----------------------------------------------------------- "Gentleman, we're in trouble" said Steven Seagal, standing up in front of the Council of Uber Elders. "Our top agent, Terrence the radioactive super-monkey, has been captured by Colonel Sanders" "Saunders, foo'!" piped up Mr T, sitting to the left of Steven. "Yes, of course, Colonel Saunders. As you know we've lost nearly all of our main agents; Terrence, Phillip the robotic parrot, Louise the interdimensonal Waffle-iron. Even Louis the anthropomorphic can of Pepsi" "Aren't they all technically antropomorphic, mate?" asked Paul Hogan, picking at his teeth with a twenty foot knife. "People, please, we're losing focus here" Steven shouted, driving his hand into the table causing it to break into four seperate, equally-sized pieces. "Ah dammit, not again. Clean-up!". Two men in white overalls silently scurried in, dragging the pieces of wood away as Steven continued to speak. "We have to face facts - if Colonel Sand...Saunders is allowed to reach the outpost then the entire world might quite possibly be remotely in some kind of danger in a few years give or take". Everyone in the room gasped, except for Brian Blessed who stood up. "I KNOW WHO CAN HELP US!" Brian whispered, the walls shaking. "WHAT ABOUT OUR AGENT IN ENGLAND?" "Are you joking?" scoffed Ray Winston. "He's a blooming maniac, he can't be trusted" "We don't have a choice" George Lucas drawled. "I may be an expert in ruining my own movies, but he's an expert at kicking serious ass" "Alright fine, are we in agreement?" asked Steven. There was a pause before the council all nodded slowly. Steven took a deep breath. "Then may God have mercy on our souls". He turned to the large video screen at the back of the room, pressing a button on a remote. An image of a glorious man appeared at the other side. He was wearing his usual red hat with a large white feather on it and skull and crossbones emblazoned at the front. His shirt was a blue on dark blue stripped pattern with a red cape covering his shoulders. His booted feet were propped up onto a table, his face contorted in full concentration as he hammered on the PSP in his hands. "Captain Maxx Power. It has been some time since the Council Uber Elders has requested your help, but we are in dire straights. We have recently..." "Two secs Ste," the Captain replied without looking up, before laughing loudly and putting the PSP to one side. "Ha, highest score ever and I only started playing it this morning. Sorry, you were saying?" "...we have problems, Cap'n. Colonel Saunders has found the..." "The chicken guy?" the captain asked incredulously. "I thought he was dead? I mean I'm not a massive fan of KFC, so if you want me to kick his ass I can totally do that" "No, not Sanders, Saunders Cap'n. He's an oxford-educated sea-serpent hell bent on possible maybe destroying the world at some point" "O" the Captain said, dropping his feet onto the floor with a thud. "Same difference. So where is he" "Tunisia. Terrence was with him last" "You send Terrence? That guy's rubbish, why dyou send him?" Steven looked around awkwardly before answering. "We were going to use him as a decoy, but unfortunately they used the midget-in-a-sunken-chest trick" "Oldest trick in the book" said the Captain. "Textbook stuff" "Exactly. Anyways, we need you to go there, find Terence and stop the Colonel. Are you up for it?" The Captain leaned back in his chair, rubbing his manly chin in contemplation. After a moment he jumped up out of his seat, raising his scimitar into the air. "Haha, why not? I could do with heading out. Let's do this!" "Excellent" Steven said, grinning. He knew that they had the best man on the job now. "We'll send a copter round to pick you up immediately" "Actually, leave it five minutes, I need a poo" TO BE CONTINUED! |
04-05-2008, 06:35 PM
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