Eyes on Final Fantasy Forums > General > Writer's Corner > Soldier's Quest

[licence]

Everything had lead to this moment. My heart jumped around wildy inside my chest, I could hear the blood rushing, the adrenaline was flowing. Shoulder to shoulder with men I had spent the last 7 months with, yet barely knew. We were waiting. Our eyes forward, our ears alert. They would be here soon. The scorched field we were staring across would soon be strewn with more blood, more tears and more young bodies. No one stirred in the lines. We were all silent. Minutes passed, still nothing came over the horizon. More minutes passed and still nothing. I tore my eyes away from the horizon and glanced down at my hands, they were shaking. I was terrified, we all were, but this had to happen.
More time passed, until finally, a soldier next to me nudged me and pointed into the distance. I strained my eyes and saw what he was pointing at. Out on the horizon, specks had started to appear. Adrenaline started to flow through my veins, and my heart hammered faster against my chest. This was it. In a few minutes I'd be killing or dying or both. Our commander started pacing the line. Trying to rally the men and deliver some sort of dramatic speech like every commander does. I never listened. I doubt many did, but we all joined with the roar at the end.
Everything had lead to this. The commander slashed his sword forward, it caught the sun and glinted. We charged. So did they. The next few moments were a blood-soaked blur. Cutting, slashing, stabbing, punching, kicking, ducking, dodging and diving. I swung my sword wildly, more young men collapsed to the ground, spilling blood out of untreatable gashes.
Then a slash, I fall to the ground, shocked, looking at the blood pouring out of my stomach. Everything slowed down as I lay there, waiting for the blow that would surely kill me. I looked to the side and saw as many of our soldiers collapsed and were slaughtered beside me. We had lost. I lay, and stared at the feet of my would-be killer. But the blow never came, I struggled to shift my eyes upward. It was one of our uniforms...it was a traitor. It was our commander. I gasped and tried to splutter out offensive slurs and questions amongst other things. I couldn't get them out, all I made was a groaning sound. Rage filled me, as I tried to pull myself to my feet. A kick to the head put any attempt at getting up to bed, I rolled onto my back. My eyes burned with hatred as I stared into the eyes of the man who'd betrayed me, his men and betrayed his country. He picked up my blood stained sword, made a motion to two other soldiers and walked away. The soldiers rushed over to me. Then darkness as I finally passed out.



Right this is just a quick attempt at an introduction cos I fancy writing something to keep me interested. It isn't the best and any constructive criticism or praise would be very much appreciated. But like I said this is simply a first draft and perhaps a rewrite is in order. The title is a bit weak as well, sorry for that.

[eiko guy]

I like it. Cant wait for the people to have names.

[Brennan]

Ah, the good ol' "I'll-cut-you-and-leave-you-to-kill-me" thing.
Good job.

[licence]

Can't beat a good cliche.

[licence]

Well hasn't be much response but I'll continue anyways.


"Is he alright? Did the surgery go well?" A voice sounded faint to my left.
"The surgery was a success, we're expecting him to come to any day now" A man with a professional tone to his voice answered the man's concerns.
"Well, I'm sure you know exactly how importan......" The voice faded out and I heard nothing again as I slipped back into my coma.

Darkness again. I struggled to open my eyes. Everything was blurry when my eyes eventually opened. I tried to sit up but the pain in my chest was too much and I fell onto my back again.
"Quick, get the Captain, he's woken up!!!" The voice sounded much louder than the two I had heard before. Footsteps hurried out of the room and I heard a door swing open.
The man who had barked out the order moved to my bed side with an injection. He never said a word to me as he checked my eyes with a torch and carried out a small examination. After he had completed this he stuck the needle into my neck and held a piece of cotton against it as he injected the unknown substance into my bloodstream. He left me lying there.
"He's just over here, sir" The doctor lead a uniformed figure to my bedside.
"Hello, how are you feeling" Even though my eye sight was still blurry I recognised the voice.
"Why should you care" My voice sounded hoarse and gravely.
"In all honesty I don't, but the King does, for some reason you are quite important to him," My former commander replied.
"But why does he want me?" I asked him, completely confused.
"I don't smurfing know, I just follow orders, so do you remeber who I am and who you are?" His voice sounded quite impatient and irriatated.
"Of course I do," I shot back
"Well, whats your name and my name" The commander asked me.
"I'm Paul Hunter. You, you're Commander Ajax," I gave him the answer he was wanting.
I started to feel quite tired and heavy, my head was splitting.
"Very good, well Private, in a few moments you will pass out and have no recollection of this conversation, or of the past few weeks." He told me.
The drug. The one the doctor had injected me with. That must be what he's referring to.
"That drug...what was it...what are you going to do to me?" I asked, unable to disguise the fear in my voice.
"It doesn't matter, you'll see soon enough," With that he got to his feet and marched away.
"WHAT THE smurf ARE YOU GOIN....!!!" I made one last vain attempt to discover some answers, but it was useless, my eyesight blurred again, and started to go dark. Once again, I passed out.