Hall of Intervies

NeoCracker · 01:47 PM

Welcome one and all to "The Hall of Interviews." Here We will be giving you
Interviews to the worlds Greatest Characters of Video Games. First off, I
Managed to Secure an interview with none other than Kefka. Today we
will be finding out the Truth of the Man behind the Facepaint.

*Sitting across the table from corncracker is an upstanding British
looking Noble, with a Monocle and a cup of tea*

Corncracker: Excuse me, but I'm suppose to be interviewing Kefka today.
Kefka: I am Kefka my good sir.

Corncracker: But Aren't you suppose to be an insane clown gone mad with power?
Kefka: That was just a persona good Chap, it will all be explained in the interview.

Corncracker: I'll take your word for it. Why is it you came here as you are now,
and not in your traditional Clown Garb?
Kefka: It's quite simple good sir, the crazy Clown was only a persona I used to
put my plans into effect.

Corncracker: ANd what Plans were these?
Kefka: Quite Simple, I desired world Domination.

Corncracker: And what Part did this "Fake Clown Persona"Play in your plans?
Kefka: Quite Simple, I was simply allowing the Emperor to think I had lost my mind.
That way suspicion of such a brilliant plan would be drawn away from me.

Corncracker: But during your plans, you did some very crazy things, Like Chancing world
Destruction by moving the statues.
Kefka: Before I respond to that, let me just tell you that I was
Originally on the MAgic REsearch team of the EMpire under Cid.

Corncracker: What did you learn during your time in that department?
Kefka: Working with Cid, I learned nothing relevant. I played the part
of an inferior researcher and conducted my own secret research not on
the Espers, but the Espar Gods. And thats where my plan began.

Corncracker: What did you learn from these Espar Gods?
Kefka: It's Quite simple, Lore from that town of MAgic users said that
if the statues were moved, the power would destroy the world. Studying
them myself, I found this was only partially true.

Corncracker: You mean how not everything was destroyed in the world of
Ruin?
Kefka: Exactly.

Corncracker: So you knew you would not be destroyed yourself, but how
did you manage to absorb the power of the Espar Gods?
Kefka: Moving them released the power as you should be well aware of
Good sir. It was only a simple manner of knowing where that power was going
to Gather.

Corncracker: But didn't the power disperse across the entire world.
Kefka: That is true, but the power had to gather at some point. The
Nature of the Gods power was to remain in balance. So after destruction.
it needed to find a place where the power could re-balance itself.

Corncracker: And how woudl this power find a place like that?
Kefka: It needed a Container. And the only place that could build
magic Containers at the time was Vector and the Magitek research facility.

Corncracker: But wasn't that destroyed by the Espars?
Kefka: Not completely, the most vital Machinery was still in tact. I
Simply hooked myself up to it and became the vessel for their energy.

Corncracker: but why Did you continue to hold on to your persona of
a Crazy Clown even after your plans were finished?
Kefka: Fear my good sir.

Corncracker: Why would you be afraid to resort back to your real self?
Kefka: Not fear from me, but the masses. IF they think their ruler is
Crazy and won't listen to reason, they won't bother a revolt or even
try speaking to me for a settlement. No one believes they can convice
a crazy person of something.

Corncracker: But how do you explain the fact that roughly 13 individuals
did in fact Revolt agianst you?
Kefka: It was a miscalculation on my part. I didn't take in to account that
All those people would survive the Fall of the Floating Continent.

Corncracker: Why did you do nothing to stop them in the WoR before
Making it to your tower?
Kefka: During that time I was enjoying a refreshing Bubble Bath with exported
Salts, followed by a very refreshing meal of Tea and Crumpets. I have
a horrible habit of Neglecting affairs while I'm indulging in my hobbies.

Corncracker: How do you feel that even though you had the power of 3 gods
at your disposal, you were still beaten?
Kefka: I was disappointed at first. However, ruling absolutely would get
Rather boring, so I feel it was for the best.

Corncracker: What have you been doing since your defeat?
Kefka: For a while I worked as an accountant. IT was quite surpising
How many wives are willing to cheat on their husbands.

Corncracker: Anyone specific you'd care to name?
Kefka: An accountant cannot reveal the names of those he has slept with,
that would be bad for business. However I am no longer an accountant, so I
Guess it wouldn't hurt to mention my night with Hilary Clinton and Laura
Bush in their younger years.

Corncracker: What are you doing now that you no longer account?
Kefka: I've found a new Joy in Cricket, I may have a shot at the championships
if I can improve my Game.

Corncracker: It's been a pleasure having you here Kefka. Thank you for
Giving us the truth of the man behind the face paint.
Kefka: Anytime good sir, for now I shall go meat up with Collin Powel, I promised
To show him a few Cricket Tricks later.

This has been our first edition. Please Join us Next time when we interview none
other than Dekar of Lufia 2.