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Polaris
SHINE-LAKE OF FIRE
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Default [Short-Story] "He's not comming home"

Can you see her smile, her pure face, her body seated on a bouncing chair in front of the fireplace? «It’s so cold outside», she thought to herself, «I wish my husband would be back from that war… It’s been a while since he left…» and she got lost in the memories when they were all together. The table had no food, just the baby feeding bottle; she wasn’t hungry, just hauled since he left. How thin she got since then!

Her baby, Margret, was sleeping on her mother’s arms; it was a quiet house, with no movement, no sound. The mother had the grace of a young woman, painful smile, pale skin, she looked so innocent, and even though she was admiring the greatest gift life gave her.
"He’s not coming home, sweetheart…" she said loud to Margret, "He’ll be away for so long and he’ll lose so many things! He wasn’t even here when you born…". Tears started to become harder to hide. The house didn’t have a single Christmas object or light. "I didn’t buy anything to him… At least you still have the little teddy turtle I gave you.", she caressed her face softly. The baby was suffocated in pink warm clothes and a small cap. "He’d love to be here, holding you, making the Christmas tree. When we married, we thought our first Christmas with you would be amazing and unique. You are our joy… We’d gaze into you and I bet I’d have this table full of sweet things, he loves food!" Tears held no more and started falling from her brown eyes. "Who knows if he’ll make to New Year? We could start a new year together with you…", Margret opened her small eyes and smiled, then her mother raised her and played a bit.
The doorbell rang and with Margret on her arms she opened the door. “A letter from Mr. Lami to Mrs. Margret Lami.”

Last edited by Polaris; 01-26-2007 at 06:36 PM. Reason: hyphen changes =)
Old 01-26-2007, 06:23 PM
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Odaisé Gaelach
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Originally Posted by Ice Angel ^
– I didn’t buy anything to him… At least you still have the little teddy turtle I gave you. – She caressed her face softly. The baby was suffocated in pink warm clothes and a small cap. – He’d love to be here,
What're the hyphens about?
Old 01-26-2007, 06:28 PM
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Owen Macwere
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it is so wonderful, Ice Angel. it is so beautiful.
Old 01-26-2007, 06:29 PM
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Polaris
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It means that she's speaking loud... and then she stops speaking and the narrator speaks...
Old 01-26-2007, 06:31 PM
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Odaisé Gaelach
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Originally Posted by Ice Angel ^
It means that she's speaking loud... and then she stops speaking and the narrator speaks...
Use quotation marks and paragraphs for when she speaks.
Old 01-26-2007, 06:33 PM
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Kenji Longaway
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When she stops speaking, and the narrator speaks, and stops speaking...then who does the talkin'?
Old 01-26-2007, 06:33 PM
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