Eyes on Final Fantasy Forums > General > Writer's Corner > [p]aper angel.

[Moon Rabbits]

folded me a new paper heart,
without tatters and tears
or, cigarette burns,
slip your hand inside my pocket,
and know that no one else
will fit, like you do,
i'll be your pillow angel,
and wherever you lay me
i will stay, so lay me down with
you and i will guard you until
the morning comes,
so can we light these paper hearts
ablaze with lust, and hope to god
that as the tongues of smoke
lick away our passion,
we aren't left with nothing,
but sad, black ash.

[nik0tine]

I like the image of the paper angel but this poem doesnt do it for me just yet. I suggest you rewrite it, keeping the parts that you feel are the best and reworking the rest, because it's not too far away from being pretty good, imo.