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Thread: Final Fantasy IV - "Ah, The Power of Cheese"

  1. #301
    moorB A abrojtm's Avatar
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    ... Hmmmmmmmm.
    Sigless

  2. #302

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    Quote Originally Posted by Behold the Void
    I'm wondering if that's actually in proper Japanese or if Necro just spun a bunch of characters together.
    I can read a bit of it so I know that at least some of it is, but it's still far too complicated for me to understand.

  3. #303

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    April Fools, thanks for not hating me.

    Enjoy!




    Episode V - "The moon really is made of cheese!"

    As you might have expected, the moon is overrun with craters, ledges, ramps, caves, monsters, and moon palaces. The first destination is the moon palace, but don't bother trying to park your ship... or... whale in front of it since the high tech futuristic engineers didn't consider that someone might want to land on a surface that isn't perfectly 100% level.



    Make your way through the lunar path and complimentary myriad of space puddings.



    Eventually you will find yourself at the Lunar 3-Wheeler Tracks



    Better known as:



    The home of the bearded creepy moon man.



    Who is, coincidentally, a storehouse for everything you ever wanted to know about the Final Fantasy IV storyline that has, until now, remained a loose end or assumed plothole. That's right, even the big stupid whale is explained.



    Wait... I just answered that.





    To sum up, Lunarians are creepy people from the moon (would have never expected), there is an evil moonman controlling Golbez, and there is a giant on Earth who wants to destroy... Earth...



    At this rate, I'd say they still have a few thousand years to wait.



    Ah! The question we've all been waiting for.



    ...

    In this context, he's actually saying that the whale was made by his father who happened to also be a creepy moonman. This revelation only serves to accent the stupid fact that the damn thing can't land on flipping craters that cover 85% of the moon's surface.



    Beside being an extreme amount of white and blue, FuSoYa comes into your party at level 50 with all the good spells standard making him loads more important than anything he had to tell you.

    Don't be so quick to head back to Earth yet, after all, it isn't as if there is a giant trying to terminate all life upon it. Instead, make a visit to this isolated cave:



    ...And prepare yourself for the stuff that nightmares are made of.



    This cave is, at once, the scariest and most asinine location in the entirety of Final Fantasy IV. To make it even more disturbing, only a small fraction of these guys will even allow you to change your name with the others repeating things such as, "Hmmm Hmmmmm..." And of course:



    Once you've gotten your fix of this place, or whatever you want to call it, hop on your whale and head back to Earth.



    Oh no! Looks like evil is afoot, being as there is shaking and dimming lights, this time on a global scale!



    I wonder if it's a giant trying to terminate all life on Earth?



    It is! And apparently he's started the massacre at the people having a picnic in the shade of those mountains, the horror!

    Is there any hope for the Earth? Apparently Rydia doesn't think so.



    End Episooode!

    TO BE CONTINUED!
    (The moon is a lot like Victorville, CA.)





  4. #304

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    Nice episode. i was planning to try and translate it but luckily I saw this first.

  5. #305
    Banned Destai's Avatar
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    When I read the first version I was scared and confused but now I feel witty and clever and superior to japanese people. Good job!

  6. #306
    Martyr's Avatar
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    Evil is a foot? I always thought of it as a giant claw or something.
    (Sorry, I had to use the Nuke Power joke)

    Anyway.... I'd say that the farcical-ness of this story has absolutely obliterated any semblance of suspense that Rydia's screeeam could have evoked.

    It's tough. I'm far more interested in the next comic for the next comnic's sake than I am for the sake of whatever's happening.

  7. #307
    Banned nik0tine's Avatar
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    You never cease to amuse me, Necronopticous. Keep it coming, I'll be expecting it.

  8. #308
    Guy Fawkes Masamune·1600's Avatar
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    This is truly one of the great achievements of our time.

  9. #309
    Gamecrafter Recognized Member Azure Chrysanthemum's Avatar
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    This is truly one of the great achievements of our time.
    Truly!

  10. #310
    ...you hot, salty nut! Recognized Member fire_of_avalon's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Behold the Void
    Truly!
    *falls over and dies*

    Signature by rubah. I think.

  11. #311
    Triple Triad Ace Ultima Shadow's Avatar
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    Excellent, my lord! :jap:

  12. #312
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    Default Ultima Shadow

    Where did you get that Rydia pic? That is absolutely beautiful (well, for an anime girl anyway). Are there others for the other FF4 characters similar to that one? Let me know.
    You spoony bard!

  13. #313
    Banned nik0tine's Avatar
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    What Rydia pic are you talking about?

  14. #314
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    the one directly above in Ultima Shadow's signature, although I suppose I should IM instead, as she may not see this
    You spoony bard!

  15. #315
    Triple Triad Ace Ultima Shadow's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Arthurdent_78
    the one directly above in Ultima Shadow's signature, although I suppose I should IM instead, as she may not see this
    That's the first time I've been called "she"!

    I'm a dude, not a girl.

    Anyway... let's not go off topic. I hope Necro updates soon.

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