Spiffing Cheese

I could see the light reflecting from the shine you'd put on his bald head rubbing your genitals back and forth on it, the gleam reflected off my eyes and made me most uncomfortable I assure you.

He was on the one show the other day. I came downstairs and walked into the lounge and BOOM Ainsley's head was just there on television. it was rather discomforting.

This troubles me

HAPPY RSL DAY!! CELEBRATE AND SHARE THE JOY OF THIS DAY HERE!

Clearly the thing to do is text them from someone else's phone! A most cunning plan if I may be so immodest.

Where are you going to apply to? And for what? I think you mentioned maths in your LJ the other day, which is definitely a good subject to have a degree in. You know, after the big subjects like History and Politics like I'm doing

I'm still curious as to the result of texting 999 but worry that if I actually did text them, police would jump out of a nearby bush and imprison me for laws against humanity or something.

Not too long before you'll be off to uni now, is it? A year?

NOT JUST LIES BUT SLANDER

I WANT TO ASK HOW YOU ARE, BUT I DON'T WANT TO PRESS CAPS LOCK AGAIN, SO I'LL DO IT IN CAPS LOCK: HOW ARE YOU???