Eyes on Final Fantasy Forums > Reference > General Archive > Tell me how to play

[Flying Mullet]

After Terra realizes that she's too old to use her boobs for profit she decides to stay and impart her smarts on the younger gals in town.



Knowing a lost cause when they sees it, our heros go to the next town where they find this guy: Yeah, I used that image because it looks like he's taking a dump in the wind, and who doesn't like taking a dump in the wind?

[Levian]

Now follow this guy around a lot. His name is Gerad. OH THAT'S SO CLEVER SQUAREPENIX. an anagram. Now scramble back the letters to reveal his true identity. Dager, that chick from FFIX. There's missing a G, you say? It was left off to throw you off track.

Anyway, get on the ship to Southeastern Figaro.
I have a wart on my butt bigger than that ship.

Either way. Talk to Garnet in South Figaro and continue through the cave back towards Figaro. Remember that healing water turtle?
Man, I love that turtle.

Walk through some ty corridors till you get to THE BASEMENT OF FIGARO CASTLE. (yes, this had to be capitalized.)

At the end of the tunnel Gerad will reveal himself. Turns out he was EDGAR!!
.... I knew that.

[Flying Mullet]

After Edgar reveals himself

The party must fight four tentacles. Why must the party fight four tentacles? Let's just say that dirty old Japanese men made the game and Celes is in the party. The orginal battle sequence didn't make the cut and now you fight four worms, yes, worms. and you can't just stand back out of their reach and cast magic, too lame.

After you remove the perverted tentacle presense, go over to Kohlington in your magic submarine, I mean castle.


When you get to Kohlington, look for this guy: and he'll go "ohs noes, the world is poo and I am lame and ....." and one and one he'll go about how he sucks. Unfortunately you needs his airships so you have to be nice to him. Have talk to him and he'll realize that, well, it's not really important, you just want to use him for his airship because that's how you get the cool weapons, armor, spells and relics, and that's what we want right?

[abrojtm]

Unfortunately, Setzer has done what all logical people have done with the world's fastest airship--buried it underground where his dear departed lover, Daryl's tomb is. Perfect sense, no? Traverse through her tomb (which is amazingly large and complex and flooded for one person's tomb), do some more turtle hopping, and hop to it until you see a marker.

Before you look at the huge marker (with still-living flowers on it) go to four stone tablets and write ERUA QSSI DLRO WEHT on them. Perfect sense, rihgt??!! Figure it out, it's broomish people.

Anyway, go back to the big marker and fight a (pretty hard) boss: ok... I think I see a skeleton in there somewhere, but what is that purple stuff. Now go down about 846514321354 stairs and see flashbacks of (). Finally the Falcon emerges huzzah! now you see one of these dudes in the air either go follow it or DO WHATEVER YOU WANT YOU ARE FREE NOW YOU CAN EVEN BEAT THE GAME NOW!!!!!!!!11ONE!

[Flying Mullet]

Yes, if you are a selfish, self-absorbed asshole, you will ignore the rest of your old comrades and beat the game now. If you are a greedy, item-hoarding asshole you will get all of your old comrades so that you can get all of the best items, weapons, armor, spells, espers and relics.

Either way you're an asshole and you have to learn to live with it.

[Roto13]

Ok, someone do more.

[theundeadhero]

This is where it gets tricky cause there is no set order to do things in. First, you'll want to go back to the Veldt to find . Then you'll go through a cave where you'll find if your the kind of Jerk who left to do this at the floating continent. If you let him live you will find the striker weapon. Bet it at the colliseum to get the ninja . There are lots of other things you can bet at the coliseum to fight . You'll get in a later part of the game.

[Flying Mullet]

Now let's get another person, how about this one? He sure can dance! Check that ass out!

To get moogle-man, go to narshe, and go back to the scary caves. There moogle-man is very scafred of the dark and needs you to cuddle and comfort him. Say yes, not because you care about him because you want what's underneath him. OMG it's teh Moogles Charm of power!!!!! Now monsters are afraid of you you sexy beast!!!