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 Dear Journal, I seem to have hit the dumps this time..... I seem to have lost my life again due to an overflow of stress.... dealing with these things are hard but I never knew that they would be this containing and harsh to even think about the past that bothers you more and more...... the idea of feeling lonely haunts my dreams every night which wakes me in a horror of never to be loved like others are.... I look around and I see couples.... everywhere.... and then I think to myself.... why can't I be like them.... the first answer that comes to my mind is usually one that I do not come up with on my own.... something like You have no feelings if you don't have that, why do you want to love or be loved? the second thing is that I've been told many times that I'm not good enough for anybody, which makes me contradict that I am officially a loser..... not your loser who ends up with a girl in the end cause she's a loser too, I'm a loser. Period. nothing goes on in my story. I feel so bad about myself sometimes for thinking these things but they are true....... every last word is true.....
07-13-2002, 04:19 AM
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| WOW Hi, first post here so be nice, today these army people came into school so we had to (of course no had to tell me twice about the weapons  ) I got the best score on the target range 9 in 30 seconds go me! We were on the net part and we were on artificail turf, word of warning sand on knees, teamed up with sunburn...kills!Oh well after running about practically all day (we had a whole-year group cricket tournament afterwards, 5th ain't THAT bad) Overall fun.
07-16-2002, 07:49 PM
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 Damn diary...... I'm hate of life. Life sux..... Every 1 hatez meh..... I don't now what to do.......to like ppl. And my english sux. hehe. Also,i hear metallika all damn day,that makez meh more angry I'm by doin an stupidity..... 
07-17-2002, 11:23 PM
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| it tookme 3 years but I've finally quite all drugsbut pot which is way better than everything else I was doin. I'm happier now
07-18-2002, 02:09 AM
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| July 18, 2002 - 7:35 PM Diary, Busy busy busy busy busy today at the store. 1 1/2 tractor trailers of stock came in; then on top of that all the paper products didn't arrive until an hour before closing. Oh well, that just means that tomarrow won't be a boring day like Wednesday. The post counter seems not to be working on EoFF right now. All the accounts are at 0 posts and 0.00 posts/day - I wonder what the problem is...Oh well, whatever it is probably isn't any of my business! Wonder how Sammy is enjoying her trip to Hawaii...I think tomarrow I will send her an e-mail. I am not exactly sure when she is getting home but I want to get the mail off before she does. The trip was AMAZING! Got back this past Saturday; rather than go into any major detail now I think I will make a thread about it (and other peoples trips so it doesn't get shut down.  )Guess that's about it for now.
07-19-2002, 12:49 AM
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| Errr..... Diary:yesterday i did a total stupidity. In meh school are some geekz arround...,every 1 hitz,stole and spit on them,and almost lookz like thiz guys are the school's ground. Also some of the grilz get fun by talking to them,like that their boyfriends cam hit them whit some reason. But yesterday they goed the hell........... There it waz some of theze guys,whit it's art work,some idiot pushed him down,and it's art work went broken.Thiz guy went really berserker,and gived us a real surprise:Gived that idiot a so-horrible beat that i think it allmost killz that idiot.But.....the other guy(not the geek)falled trougth the window,and broked himself an arm. So,this guy(the geek),went suspended.But he waz not caring a damn about that,cauze he gained some respect,of coure that it waz what he trougth....... At the exit,there it waz an entire gang ,they gived him in the backhead whit an pipe or something like that,he falled to the ground,and no 1 did nothing."He haz to stay in ti's place",they said,but ya now what i think about that,also some friendz o' mine, So,we went in and started up a hell of a figth,almost all of us ended up at the police station,and the guy that hitted him is in trial now....... I have to go say some crap in a few hourz,so............ Did i wrong or did i rigth,now i have a houe prob whit my mum cauze of some guy i dont now........ 
07-19-2002, 05:54 PM
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