Eyes on Final Fantasy Forums > Reference > General Archive > The Daily Grind > The Journal Thread (February)

[Loony BoB]

2000 posts seems highly ideal. *cough* I mean, uh, yeah. I'm not a spammer.

'xoden made me do it.

*doesn't spam by adding the following on*

I have a girlfriend, and my test was kew, and stuff, and everyone failed but about four people, and stuff, and things, and yeah. My Mum comes back soon.

Oooh, now THERE'S a reasonable excuse for a thread... >=D

[Spatvark]

Dear diary,

I don't write here nearly enough. Things have been getting pretty ty everywhere for me, except here at EoFF. This is the only place I can go without everyone trying to piss each other off and fighting over absolutely nothing.

It all started on Monday. I heard that some people at school were going to do something really nasty to a good friend of mine, so naturally, I warned her of it. She's a friend, I wouldn't want to see her get hurt. This really upset her and she spent the rest of the day crying. Anyway, she went and had a go at the people who were planning to do the afore-mentioned deed and said that I told her about it. This REALLY pissed them off. They verbally assaulted me in front of my friends just because I cared about someone else. What really suprised me was that one of the people who had a go at me was someone who I never thought could be this cold. Anyway, things have just been escalating at school, everything is becoming far morer tense and I can't wait to get the hell out of there...

So far I've got one conditional offer from Sheffield University, though I'll never get the grades I need, been rejecterd by 4 other universities and am still awaiting for an answer from a 6th... I know I'm not gonna make it into university now, I'm probably gonna end up going to a tertiary college now... I feel so useless, I've screwed up all my dreams now, I don'[t see anything that can help me...

I really miss Michelle. She hasn't been in school for a week now, apparantly she's ill. Everything has beren so ty without her, I just want to be able to see her, if only one more time. Without her, everything seems so pointless to me. I've talked to her a few times on MSN, but that's about it. I want to be able to hold her, to touch her, to kiss her, but I know these things shall never be mine. Why does everything have to be so goddamn ty for me now? Sod's bloody law I guess... someone's gotta get the ty end of the stick...

THe stupidest thing is I know my problems are trivial when you compare them to those of so many other people, but still, i feel like I'm the only one having problems, yet that's obviously irrational.

I had a dream a couple of days ago, not a bad dream, hell, a bloody great dream. I'd met someone and wee were in love. We could never get enouigh of each other, we weree always holding hands with each other or hugging each other... then I woke up and looked at my life, and I just thought ", what the hell am I doing? That's never gonna happen. Just look at all the crap I'm going through now..."

I started smoking again the day I had that dream. Everything just got to me and I spent most of the day in my room crying, whilst smoking my way through two 20 packs of Sovereign and god knows how much beer... I got myself well and truly smurfed over that day...

It's times like this I wish I could believe in God. Then I would have someone to blame, it wouldn't be my fault, but I know it is., I'd have something to look forward to. I'd know there was a reason for all that's happening to me, but there's nothing but never-ending pain and agony. At least on the otherside I won't be able to feel anything, no pain, no misery, just oblivion, pure emptyness. I wouldn't be content coz' there would be nothing left to feel content.

Life is , 'nuff said.

There's only one solution but I refuse to take that path. I've seen and felt it's effects and I would never wish that on anyone. I just want to wake up from this nightmare and find Michelle lying next to me, see the sun in the sky and revel in this task we know as life but I know that's never gonna happen. Things will always be crappy and I've just got to face that and get on with my ty little existence, trying to get by the best I can...

Life is ...

Once there was meaning
But now everything is
Twisted and tortured

[TidaRalique]

I have no emotion anymore... what's wrong with me...?

musique
Road to the West
Cowboy Bebop Blue

Valentine's Day... God I hate it. This time of the year, I become even meaner than I ever was. Too much love I guess, I hate it. I don't know, I upset myself sometimes.

My school is too dumb, they are selling flowers, red, white, and some other color. Me, and two of my friends were walking down the hall with me, male and female. I forget how it happened but we started to talk about those god forsaken flowers. I don't know if I made my female-friend mad with the things I said, especially saying I'd give her a dead or black rose and say it was from hell. I'll never know I guess.

~This the path I have chosen and this is the path I'll follow forever...

[Old-Man]

Thursday, 7 February 2002

To tha diary,

Been at school four days now.
It's been great, i'm having so much goddamn fun. The time i spent worrying about school is so unfounded it makes me laugh. Laughing, now theres something i'm doing a hell of a lot lately. God, school is good if you don't take it seriously.

Okay, i'll give you a run-down of what i've been up to these eventful four days.
I saw Alya the first day i got back. Well, things aren't going too great between us, and it's mostly my fault. I don't think i'm cut-out to be in a relationship with a girl.
I've been flirting non-stop 24/7 since the moment i got to school. I'd forgotten how goddamn hot some of the girls at school are, and the effect they have on me.
I don't know WHAT i'd do if i was an ugly, socially challenged dude. To be able to see the same girls that i see, and not to be able to do ANYTHING with them. It would be hell on Earth.
Alya has seen me groping and being groped by at least 4 different girls. Not good huh?
Well... technically we aren't even going out, so i shouldn't feel bad, but i do a bit. Alya is free to do whatever she wants with whoever she wants, i don't care. The fact that she likes me a lot i can't help, and it's not my fault. I'm not going to hinder my social life because of her.
Still, i feel bad.
Nevertheless, i can't keep these hands to myself!
God, it's a horrbile cycle im in. And god, do i love being in it!
I'm going to class and not doing one single peice of work and studying the moment i enter the door. It's great.
Well, they kicked me out of my class today. Not doing enough work they said. Blah.
They booted me out of a class that was kinda gay, into a class straight from my personal heaven.
All my friends are in this new class. Every single goddamn one of them, they dominate the entire class.
And the chicks, oh god! The chicks! OHhhhh!
The women in this class are god-like, and just today i got with most of them. Oh yeah...!
JESUS himself could not have designed a better home-room for me.
The class that we spend the most time in is called the home-room here in WA.
I'm in this new class forever now. What damn good luck.
I had Drama class today. The class is cool, a lot of good guyz in it. Good females as well.
Had a lot of fun, acted for 80 mins straight.
Kinda f**ked up my knee when i was pretending to be a rugby player though. I bear-tackled this chair and totally messed it up hell bad. I didn't say anything, i must have looked grim. I just smiled and held the obscenities in my head. It got better quick.
Anyway, i'm loving school, i'm loving life.
I'm having fun, and thats ALL that matters.

I know all the above sounds like a dream, and you probably think things couldn't possible be going so goddamn good for one guy. But hell, i can't argue with you. Dunno what i did to deserve this new change of good luck.
My only worry: One day all good things must end.
Just hope it doesn't happen anytime soon.

[Old-Man]

Saturday, 9 February 2002.

Diary,

Just got back from the shops, been there since 10.00am. Australia time.
Had a goddamn great time
We finally found out how to steal PS2 games, took long enough. Have to crack open the heavy-duty plastic cases with a knife or something like that.
Pulled up at the shops, went straight to K-Mart.
We've been trying to bust open the plastic cases on PS2 games forever now, it's like rock. Shut real tight, too. Daniel picked one up, took it with him and walked away. I followed him to see what he would do, and oh my god!
I lost it, i couldn't stop laughing.
He was standing in the middle of the aisle, slamming this PS2 game on the floor every 2 seconds, then jumping on it as hard as he could. He looked like such a dickhead, i thought i was gonna laugh up a lung.
Meanwhile Brenton showed up and said that he still couldn't open the casing, he had been trying to open it with this little ice-pick thingy he has.
So he tells Daniel to go find find a knife somewhere in the shop. Daniel is gone for ages, me and Brenton sit around waiting and waiting.
He comed back with this f**king huge big knife, he's stumbling along knocking stuff over. He sees us and grins, pulls his hound out from behind his back.
It's SOAKED with blood.
He somehow managed to deeply cut his hand, trying to rip open the knife packet.
We leave the game and knife somewhere 'safe' and go to the chemist section to find him some sort of rag or something.
The chemist dudes were cool enough to wrap up his hand and put some chemical stuff on it.
So Brenton went back into K-Mart and managed to get the game... what a legend!
Later on we found ourselves in some other stupid cheap-ass shop. Brenton found some sticky-string, y'know the stuff you shoot out of cans at parties?
We got 3 cans of it and went out the front of the shops.
By the time we were finished with the sticky-string can war, people were standing there with their jaws open staring at us. We were COVERED from head to toe in yellow sticky stuff, and it was all over one of the shop walls and EVERYWHERE over the floor.
F**king r0x0r.
It was such a bad mess i got worried someone was gonna call security or something.
We spent the next 20 mins picking yellow off of each other, then we caught a bus home.
It was a good day.
Had lotsa fun, sucks ass that i have to go to my uncles place later tonights. It's his birthday.
Have to catch up with some of the guys tomorrow.
Bummer.

[Loony BoB]

I got a second job, but now I'm absolutely exhausted. I think I'm overworking myself with this 57 hours per week idea... I mean, it'll get me all the cash I need, but... y'no... >_<

[Bulldog]

Diary.
It seems that my sisters boyfriend had "claimed" her as an object. He practically owned her. She couldn't go out with her friends or talk on the phone. He would even beat her if she looked at boys. In fact he came to my place, and thought that I was one of those "boys". I don't know how he found her, obviously she was taking a break from the bastard. Anyway, he started kicking my television and punching me. (My sister told me about him, but I didn't expect him to be like that. Guess she didn't tell me the hole truth). He had it coming though, slapping my sister in front of me. He is history. My sister will be staying at my place until she wants to move out.
I just knew it. Something bad just had to happen. If I see him again, I doubt that he will swing his baseballbat at me again. I even doubt he can hold a spoon. Little bastard.

[Nova Dragon]

Well, this would be my first time in the Daily Grind forum. Hmmm...I think that it will be kind of enjoyable to start keeping a diary.

Let's see, to much happend today, kinda the same old - got up, went to my classes, (though I got economics off today - yay!) and came home. Kinda tired but I still forced myself to workout for 20 minutes. Well, guess that's about it for today.