>> Gate7 [a couple of pages]..

black orb · 02:06 AM

>>> This is a comic/manga thing Ive been working on.. I know its far from perfect and there is lot of room for improvement here but I think I will get the hang of it as long I keep drawing more pages..
BTW this are just random pages I picked from the beginning of the first chapter, so they are not in order/related.. No dialog yet, I`ll do that when Im done with the pages..
Comments and suggestions are welcome..

Kawaii Ryûkishi · 11-23-2006, 12:53 AM

My only advice is that you ought to devote the kind of effort you put into your scenery into your characters as well. The kid is stiff and two-dimensional, and the fact that everything surrounding him is so pretty just makes it more distracting.

Rye · 11-23-2006, 01:02 AM

Those are fantastic. But yes, Kishi hit it right on the head, the kid needs more detail, because everything else is so gorgeous that it kind of alienates him.

black orb · 11-23-2006, 01:15 AM

>>> Thanks a lot for the advice!, I didnt realize about the two-dimensional character problem.. This is due to my laziness because I just stick patterns on their clothes without doing any proper shading work..

Rocket Edge · 11-23-2006, 06:11 PM

Those really are great. The setting of the backround on the first page along with the last strike originality into pages.

Christmas · 11-23-2006, 06:14 PM

Great job.

black orb · 02:06 AM

>>> I edited some panels for this page and put some shading in the characters.. I guess this way look better..

BG-57 · 11-24-2006, 03:36 PM

Very nice. Is this going to be an occult/horror comic?

Kawaii Ryûkishi Administrator Carcharo Don Megalo Don Location: Challenger Deep	#2 (permalink) My only advice is that you ought to devote the kind of effort you put into your scenery into your characters as well. The kid is stiff and two-dimensional, and the fact that everything surrounding him is so pretty just makes it more distracting.
11-23-2006, 12:53 AM

Rye Kiss Kiss Fall In Love ♥ Location: College @ Roto13's Island	#3 (permalink) Those are fantastic. But yes, Kishi hit it right on the head, the kid needs more detail, because everything else is so gorgeous that it kind of alienates him.
11-23-2006, 01:02 AM

black orb MADAO Location: Life Sucks	#4 (permalink) >>> Thanks a lot for the advice!, I didnt realize about the two-dimensional character problem.. This is due to my laziness because I just stick patterns on their clothes without doing any proper shading work..
11-23-2006, 01:15 AM

Rocket Edge ☼☼☼☼☼☼☼	#5 (permalink) Those really are great. The setting of the backround on the first page along with the last strike originality into pages.
11-23-2006, 06:11 PM

Christmas HATE Location: LAND OF HATRED	#6 (permalink) Great job.
11-23-2006, 06:14 PM

black orb MADAO Location: Life Sucks	#7 (permalink) >>> I edited some panels for this page and put some shading in the characters.. I guess this way look better.. Last edited by black orb; 11-26-2006 at 02:06 AM.
11-23-2006, 09:01 PM

BG-57 What You Say? Location: Your Base	#8 (permalink) Very nice. Is this going to be an occult/horror comic?
11-24-2006, 03:36 PM