[A] Does She Fit the Profile?

My_car_is_faster_than_you · 09:36 AM

Hey guys,

It's me, My_car again. I've been writing a story recently and have drawn characters to go along with the story to help me better visualize how the story will flow.

Well, I need a second (hopefully more) opinion because my other personality isn't very helpful for feedback. JK.

First off, here's a character (Ireina), and I need to know if she fits the profile I've listed below. Please be honest and tell me if she matches, doesn't match, or if there are a few suggestions to fix her. (Keep in mind that these are very rough drawings).

Then, there is her sister (Ascelia). Same thing, want to know if she fits the profile.

Ireina Victoria Gianni
20 years old
Summary: She's a swordsmaiden, cold demeanor, introverted, intelligent, quick witted, and sarcastic.

Ascelia Gianni
15 years old
Summary: She's an archer, hyperactive, lonely, love hungry, feisty, but deep down inside she's a sweetie.

I am very open to criticism and not easily offended. Tell me what I need to do to improve these characters to match their profile, etc. etc, tell me if they suck, I don't care. Just as long as it's honest.

Thanks.

Kawaii Ryûkishi · 10-12-2006, 08:40 AM

It's hard to tell how tall a person is or how much she weighs just by looking at her head.

My_car_is_faster_than_you · 10-12-2006, 09:38 AM

Originally Posted by Kawaii Ryûkishi ^

It's hard to tell how tall a person is or how much she weighs just by looking at her head.

Fixed, height and weight removed to avoid confusion, or something to the likes of it. Those were there for no real reason except for me copying the profile I wrote over.

Anyway, the main thing I was looking a match in was the temperment and personality. Do they look like they fit the personality described?

Kawaii Ryûkishi · 10-12-2006, 10:17 PM

I'm not sure an introverted person would bother to apply make-up or style her hair. Although, she could. People are funny like that.

Everything else looks pretty congruous.

Christmas · 10-23-2006, 04:32 PM

Rinoa!!

Evastio · 10-24-2006, 12:47 AM

They look like they fit their characters.

The 2nd one's smile doesn't fit her well though. She looks a little too happy for her personality.

Kawaii Ryûkishi Administrator Carcharo Don Megalo Don Location: Challenger Deep	#2 (permalink) It's hard to tell how tall a person is or how much she weighs just by looking at her head.
10-12-2006, 08:40 AM

Kawaii Ryûkishi Administrator Carcharo Don Megalo Don Location: Challenger Deep	#4 (permalink) I'm not sure an introverted person would bother to apply make-up or style her hair. Although, she could. People are funny like that. Everything else looks pretty congruous.
10-12-2006, 10:17 PM

Christmas HATE Location: LAND OF HATRED	#5 (permalink) Rinoa!!
10-23-2006, 04:32 PM

Evastio OOOHH!!! NOT AGAIN!!!!! Location: It's Inconsistent	#6 (permalink) They look like they fit their characters. The 2nd one's smile doesn't fit her well though. She looks a little too happy for her personality.
10-24-2006, 12:47 AM