Please read

Hey people! ive made some new Rap lyrics, still in work. I would like to have your aponion on it, i would be very grateful if you read ALL of it before you post your aponion, thank you very much. LOVE ALL OF YOU!
and yes im still working on the starting and the Chrous.. but please tell me what u think






The rap game aint safe no more
we cant ignore it anymore
before your brains will hit the floor
and you done for
were all prisoners of a war
we dont wanna stay anymore
so we pray today that we dont get slay-d
cause everyday is grey in the usa
we have to obey to tha cops or we get locked up
This shi* is fuked up, that we have to construct
the whole thing on lies, it caused so many guys to die
and thats just the f.b.i, its time to improvise
sensationalize and make this shi* decriminalized
you think your wise, well i gota suprise
its time for ma guys to rise up
and for ur guys to say theyre last goodbyes
fuc*, i despise you dirty cops
its cause of you there is so many cries... to many..


(chorus:: )


I had 2 pac diein in ma hands
and all of a sudden his fans took a stand
started to demand for thingz to change
which made the goverment deranged
and put ma homies on tha street like
a piece of meat, now they think were
gonna retreat? FUC* NO, were an elite
and we stand stong, cause this is were
we belong, this is why im makin this
culturestic and religious song.
why the fuc* cant we just all get along, and its time for IT
to stop. Or ill commit a hit which will
make yer body drop. all it takes is one shot,
to make your body, embody, you better start saying sorry
Its us that is praying to get outta tha Safari.
Thats the Ghetto nigge*r, The crime just keeps gettin
bigger, but you dont care, we just keepin gettin tha chair
Sometimes i just aint able to bear it anymore, i need a gasp of air
before the despair is overtaken, if im not mistaken... were
allready forsaken.


Chorus:)

Im allready shakeing, for trying to make a makeing.
I need a break, from this fucked up state.
Its time to set the record straight,
it is not ma fate to die
in the street, or get beat,
just cause they think im a deciet,
This shi* aint discreete,
and its the same thing that reapeats.
No more excrete for me,
cause i wanna be the best i can be
i aint gonna get down on ma knees and plea,
or flee, cause im free, all ma other niggers would agree.
If i could, i would get out of tha hood, but i wouldnt leave
ma homies behind, i want this understood, I would never
let a friend die, Thats why im confined, To not
leave a man in pain, even if i got nottin to gain
So keep tha killin in yer own lane, its my homies
time to Reign. Rest in peace 2pac :D!
Ending: )

Hey, i like it word up!:D

So did you really make that cuz i think its good i know from experiences its difficult to write a rap song:( but that was better than anything i could make up.:D

Do you think its at all possible for you to make a rap about the seasons my moms a teacher and i think it would help. She aske my brother to write one but he's a lazy bastard and i have no talent.:D

just think about it....

lol, i did make it up myself, hey ive already improved it, im gonna make another thread of it totally improved and finished, tell me what u think about that one eh? :)