my poems...... your opinion please

these r some of my writtings i wish u enjoy them.....:D

my songs

when the ashes of my heart
fell down into your hand
you felt me kiss them
giving you my enternal love

is my love still in you?
or has it gone now
with the nights you spant
crying on me your eyes

do you still remember me?
I who paid every precious to
keep you alive and happy
even my life when I had to

no, I want you to forget
yes, i need you to go on
life is too short to spand it
crying on a ghost long gone

i'll sing the song we loved
until my entirnity die
and if hope in me rises
then i'll know
that the birds are still
singing my songs

you loved me one day

do you remember me?
do you still hear my voice at night?
i was so alone
so left in the dark
when you said good bye
when you left without a trace
even deep inside me i am still sure
you loved me one day

when my heart ache with pain
and my mind yearn to you so much
i try to think of our first meeting
this memory keeps me alive
yet it haunts my life
but i still deep inside feel that
you loved me one day

hehe... not much ha?.... well the last one was written at the same time as posting this thread

Sweet poems man. :cool: There are some grammatical errors and some lines that don't make sense but I got what you meant. Great dude, keep it up. :D

i corrected the grammer mistakes hehe... hope u understand them more now

in the first poem: ashies? you mean ashes? for etirnity you should put eternal.

in the first poem: ashies? you mean ashes? for etirnity you should put eternal.

hehe.... ok:D thanks but by entirnity i mean forever

yes but eternal shows that something lasts forever. its the same meaning but just a better word for it

this is good..?... what about the one in the last paragraph???

That one would be eternal too. You only say eternity when you talk about something lasting an eternity. But if you are emphasizing on something you say it's eternal.

That one would be eternal too. You only say eternity when you talk about something lasting an eternity. But if you are emphasizing on something you say it's eternal.
ia m talking about something that last for entenity

i like em there really nice :D

well... here's an updating though no one bothered to read the last but should i give up??.... no:D

the birds' songs
dreams, they always fade away
wishes, they never came true, did they?
and when u took my hand
i know that was a dream
but still i want to believe it is true

wind, it carried our memories
stars, they knew our stories
but still i want to believe it didn't happen
and that u r still here
if i needed u, all i have to do
is to call ur name

'cause in ur eyes i read the love
'cause in ur touch i felt the care
and i know and no matter what
i'll feel u when the birds sing their songs
i'll hear ur voice in their songs

ur love, it'll last forever
birds' songs, they'll bring us back togather
how many times u tried to reach me
how many times i just pushed u away
but still i want to believe u r here

tears, they carried my pain
our words, they fall with the rain
but still i want to believe i can relly on u
and i want u to say it, no matter how it hurts me
i need to hear it
please call my name

'cause in ur words i read the pain
'cause in ur smiles i saw the end
and i know and no matter what
i'll feel u when the birds sing their songs
i'll hear ur voice in their songs
i'll hear ur voice in the birds' songs

too long but it is my favorate.... hope u like it too:D

i like em there really nice :D

thank u kid..... *sighs*... i am glad u liked them... see the updated one too ......:D if u like

updating though no one care to read :
The broken heart

I love her
She’s all I have
Yet I don’t have her

I want her
She’s all I need
Yet I don’t want her

What if she loves him?
And I know he loves her
I will never set them apart
I will have the broken heart
I can deal with it
For I need no heart beat
Hers are mine

When she smiles the sun rise
When she cries my hearts dies
All I want is to hold her
I’ll die for her
Giving her my life

I can’t let her love me
She doesn’t know who I am
She is the princess
But I am not the knight
I am a sinner

But for all I know
She’s the first one I ever came
To love
But all I will ever have is
The broken heart

They're all sad...:(

But I like them. :) Keep up the good work.

here's another one it is funny trust me LOL
Stool

Made of leather or anything
But hold so tight and so firm
Attached to the ground like a solder
Never gives up holding things
We never hear it complain
Or give a sound of pain
But all we do is put on more
Thinking that it is its job after all
But did we ever thought that
It also has an aching heart
If it never complained before
What is making us so sure?
That time wont come when it explodes
Giving us back what it holds
Telling us to be off
To be kind in our hearts
And leave the desire to
Break everything apart


Thend

hope you like it ^_^

I have just written this so what do you think guys... sorry for double posting :(


My last words

Every morning when I wake up
I see a vision of you
And I start to wonder
How long has it been?
Since our last meeting
****
Every evening when I set alone
I remember how you filled my world
And my room starts to look so small
I look out of the window
And see the snow
Oh, how can I forget you?
****
I’ll send you my last words
In a letter on angels wings
I’ll explain in it my world
And ever bit of pain I felt...
****
I’ll send you my last words
I’ll send my heart
And if you don’t want it
Just send it back apart…
****
I’ll send you my last words
I’ll send you my soul
‘Cause you are the only one
I am living for…
****
I’ll send you my last words
I’ll send you my life
And curved on it
With a knife
Would be
“I’ll love you for eternity”