[p] Star in the sky

Star in the Sky

Lonely, lost soul
Let me be your guide, through this hard life
Wandering, confused being
Let me comfort your fears so miserable

Don't let these painful days be your last
Don't think that no one would care for you
Though maybe as far as stars are apart in the sky
You have at least this one person who knows you exist
Who grieve when you grieve all that you've lived through
This person searches for someone like you
The star in the sky


Something I wrote a while ago. I still like it and some think it is a little depressing. ^_^;;

I don't see how it could be depressing. It depicts someone willing to be there for another even if nobody else will. It's nice. But I didn't like: "Let me comfort your fears so miserable"

I didn't understand how one would comfort fears, and why dub them miserable. What about "with my embrace we will conquer your fears" or maybe let my comfort envelope you..." or something like "let my touch lick the wounds inflicted by this world"....I dunno. Just didn't like that line.

BTW: adds an s to the first grieve: Who grieve when you grieve?

7/10

Lol... :D I didn't notice that, thanks.

I had actually modified it just recently and it's not much different but it's longer.

EDIT: ;) It's from the collection of 'Old Stuff' from last year I liked and wanted to change it a little more.