| Former Staff Location: Root Beer Forum | 
Journal, I don't like myself. Whenever I see Tatum online, I always feel terrible, and hated. Why? I want to get this over with, but it's hopelessly not, and I still want to be friends with her, but she wants time away, so I here I am. I haven't spoken to her for quite awhile. I do fine, but when I know that's she's on, I feel uneasy and terrible. I hate this. I want to stop feeling guilty each time. I hate it. I just want to go away and never come back. I've considered resigning, but I've been convinced not to, I want to hurt myself, but that's no way to end my life. I don't want to hurt myself, or anyone, but.... I've been feeling more pessimistic lately, and it's all this damn thing's fault. >=( No one reads my LJ, no one takes a look at me. I feel empty and void. *sigh* I am so hopeless, I lost a friend that I had cared for, but recklessly act foolish around with. Now I'm regretting myself, I'm doubting I'll ever be forgiven, I doubt she will ever be friends with me. I am such a *&*# idiot. why do even bother making fun of myself. ;_; Self-pity am not goal.
I hate you Jeff. |