[Rye]

It was very flavorful, I liked it a lot. I've always admired people who can pull off long poems. I enjoyed the aesthetic shape to it too. Reminds me a bit of e.e. cummings.

Maybe the only thing I'd suggest is to cut a few of the bigger more unusual words - they kind of contrast with the cropped loveliness the poem has going.

My favorite part is this:

"Stars, stoic buddhas; (glowing, awake,
alone) -
branches ache; autumnal,
geriatric and naked,
leaning their narrow, byzantine bones
toward night sky.
Street lamps echo light,
add shape to shade."

You have a flair of design and interesting description.