[the lynch clone]

After completing the game multiple times, I infer that both characters' strengths have attained an equilibrium. I have reached the conclusion that Squall and Seifer are equally feeble in comparison to the mold that all heroes of modern folklore attempt to fit. The aforementioned mold is none other than that of Carlos "Chuck" Norris. With a simple stroke of his fiery red beard and a moderatly fierce gaze, Sir Norris would simultaneously implode Squall's and Seifer's heads, fill their respiratory systems with sulfur and francium, and force their ascending, transverse, descending and sigmoid colons to spontaneously combust. Then the deity Norris would exhale slightly, yawn, quaintly smirk, wink his left eye, then think to himself, "Hmph, kids." He would then scoop up the fleshy mound of remains and grind them up by placing it between his hands and rubbing them together like Mr. Miyagi does when he fixes Daniel Larusso's leg in The Karate Kid. He then places the ample pile of bone, muscle and entrails on a radiator he tore out of a Peterbilt and roasts it over a fire he built using only water (I didn't believe it either until I witnessed it myself). The result was the first Burger King restaurant. Have it your way? I think not! Have it the Norris way.