So far you've had good feedback for this story. It is good, I like the plot and you seem to spend a lot of time developing the characters. It just seems as though you're skimming over everything, although you try to describe things, it just doesn't feel like it's written very well. I'm not really sure how to explain myself in a coherent way.
I think when you read a story it should evoke some sort of response. I'm reading it, but I'm not feeling anything in doing so. Not sadness at the parting of Akio and Celia (I haven't read the last chapter that you wrote, my eyes were hurting too much), no rush at the assination, nothing. I'm not sure how you could improve this. It took a few chapters for the story to actually become clear; I assume that destroying these eight towers is what they're out to do.
It does have a good plot though, I'm not denying that. It might help to go back over your chapters once you've finished and re-write parts that you don't like. There are some grammatical errors and some sentences that just don't seem to make sense e.g 'That didn’t phase to me much in the when I was young'. If your writing style was more developed and the errors fixed i think this would make a really good read
Smile and Be happy
ps I don't mean to cause any offense by my comments, just thought I'd share my opinion.